Do you remember that moment when you first laid eyes on that little human? What is that feeling called? I have had 3 perfectly beautiful births and have had the please of experiencing this 3 different occasions. It is the most bewildering experiences.
Many people who know me know that being a mom was not on my To-do list. I was going to be that cool auntie type that travels and has a great wardrobe. Like my biggest goal was to have as many bad ass jackets as Olivia Benson on Law & Order SVU. But apparently life had a different plan for me. At 18 I became pregnant with my oldest. I was beyond scared and not happy. Not happy about a baby but more not happy about not knowing what in the world I was going to do with a baby. I was just one myself if we’re being honest.
On December 6, 2010 at 8:53 pm, I was headed to put my bowl of finished cereal in the kitchen when POP! It was like a water balloon popped and my water broke. Fast forward to 4:45 am, there were 5 people in a room and in the blink of an eye, their were 6. I saw the oddest thing. A little me looking right back at me. My whole world literally changed in that moment. I really felt love. I mean I felt it. There is absolutely NOTHING that could come between me and this little human. Of course she cried but she wanted me. She felt my skin and she just knew that she was mine and I was hers. Within seconds, she stopped crying and scrounged around for my boob. Like she was a pro at this relationship. All I could do was stare at her and focus on not dropping her. There was instant comfort and protection. I didn’t want anyone near her. She was my heart that no longer dwelled in my tummy. She was out and obtainable. I never wanted to share her.
I think we all had a similar experience as such. But what is that feeling? I got to experience the same euphoric moment 2 more times! Its just amazing and truly majestic. Outside of our social and cultural norms lies our natural abilities. To push beyond the pain and discomfort of something so breaking to receive the level of unconditional desire that our little humans provide for us is remarkable to say the least.
Even now with a terrorizing two year old, I often catch myself looking at her in the midst of her naughtiness and just loving her. In the moments of my 6 year asking me why to every possible statement, I find myself intrigued with her inquisitive spirit. And with my 9 almost 10 year old, using all my Bath and Body Works soap and reaching for my deodorant, I find my breath taken at how much she has grown and with that growth, the development of my growth for her.
A child’s and mother’s bond is nothing short of magic.
Momm3d 