Welp. Here we are. Mom bods and mom worries. Being a mother in todays society is honestly jus wild! There is so much pressure to be better, do better, look better, believe better, and honestly all we are trying to do is love these little humans and make sure they eat their veggies. As a single mom with a child from every sort of single mom situation, the weight and pressures of society weigh heavy on me. OFTEN. Here are a few things I do (and you can too!) to deal with the heaviness of the “mom life”.
- Take advice when needed. This can be super annoying because EVERYONE has an opinion on how you SHOULD parent and what you SHOULD do. This can be often overbearing. But with that, keep in mind that some people come from a place of rudeness and just being rude while others may just have the intent of wanting actually help. You can smell the difference from a mile away. Be willing to be open (when it applies) because lets me honest, SOME advice is actually useful and can get you ahead in the situation. Use your discernment but be open.
- The Help. We all seem to want “help” in one way or another. But girl, let me tell you, I trust no one! So what do I need help with? How do I ask without micromanaging? This is a true struggle for me. So I am fortunate to have a solid family support system from my parents and my grandparents. I have my girls every day of the week BUT my dad takes all the girls on Saturdays and keeps them over night. This has been a godsend for me! With my youngest, I had her everyday all day unless I was working. That meant a lot of skipped showers and meals in the beginning. I mean I would be up crying because I was beyond exhausted and literally my body would not sleep. It was a very dangerous situation at that point. I was going on Day 6 of nothing more than micro naps and began too well, in short, loose my shit. Thats when I knew I needed help and the kind of help I needed. Listen to yourself.
- Celebrate the small victories! This is HIGHLY important! Were you able to wash, dry, fold, and put away a load of laundry today? Did you get all your water intake? Did your little one finally nail that spin for ballet? I mean soak in all the joy! This helps so much!
- Find healthy ways to vent. For me, I’m rather private. I like to take my L’s in private as well as my wins. I believe this is a defense mechanism I’ve developed over the years. But by doing this, I harvest a lot if feelings, thoughts, emotions, and discomforts. I have had a couple of breaking points and realized that I need some sort of outlet. I needed to do something that helps with the mental weight of well, life + kids. One thing is writing. I’ve always had diaries and or journals most of my life. This has been comforting for me. I can write down my circumstances so its released, and I would read those days later down the road and see how things have changed. And usually the changes are always for the better.
These are just a few things I constantly do to ensure that the weight of mom life and pressures of being perfect and getting it all done doesn’t bury me. We are moms. We love. We care. And remember, not all heroes wear capes.
Let me know how you deal with the weight of mom life.
Momm3d 